The MRI - Epic Fail

I went to my MRI appointment, and then I left.  That pretty much sums it up.

Deep Sigh.

When I made the appointment for the MRI the lady on the phone said, "Are you claustrophobic?"  And I said, "a wee bit, yes."  I had an MRI of my ankle so I knew what the machine looked and sounded like and when she asked if I was claustrophobic, it dawned on me that I would be inside that machine, not just my foot like before.

Suddenly, I am super slow at catching on to things. For example:  I am making an MRI appointment and don't realize that my entire body will be in the MRI machine. Duh.

I'm not really claustrophobic, I am uncomfortable with it, but not phobic.  I can do it. But given the option for more comfort, sure, I'll say I'm claustrophobic if that means I can have this thing done in an easier way. Maybe they will leave the lights on or something.  The receptionist said they will call in a prescription for some Valium. Awesome.

She also said I cannot wear any metal on my clothing. Ok. Cool, I get to wear clothing! I bought a sports bra (no clips i.e. no metal) and I wore a pair of drawstring shorts and cut the grommets off  since they were metal. I didn't realize that I wear metal every day, but it's on everything.

I got my valium: 6 mg and only one dose.  Really? That's it? One dose?  I'm going to have all sorts of medical appointments and I get one stinking dose of valium? It took me eight phone calls to get it too!  I had to call the MRI lady, the doctor's office, the MRI office again, the doctor's office again, repeat both, and the pharmacy too!  For that one dose of valium, everyone said someone else had to prescribe it. It was insanity. But I got it. I figured it was going to be worth the hassle because the MRI was supposed to last two hours. Two hours!  And I would have to lay perfectly still for that whole time.  How is that even possible!

I took my 6mg of valium right before my appointment. I guess I could have driven myself to the appointment but they said not to drive if I take it, and if I drive there then I'd need a ride home and have to leave my car behind. That wouldn't work out. My friend, Tisha, taxied me around. Brit came to watch the kids. They were super happy to see her too.  I gave Brit a fox scarf and she loved it! Looked fabulous on her!

I got to my appointment and waited a while before being called back. They sent me to a dressing room and told me to remove everything and don a gown. But, I have no metal. Doesn't matter. Ugh. I bought a sports bra and cut the grommets off my shorts for nothing!

I went into the MRI room and saw the gigantic machine and there was a friendly man in the room welcoming me. He started to tell me how it would work. I would lay on the table face down and he would start the iv... WHOA!  WHAT? IV?!  Stop right there!  The trembling began. Uncontrollable, as usual.

What IV?  I never knew about an iv.  Why do I need one? He said it is for contrast dye. They'll inject the dye into the iv and it'll feel weird, maybe cold at first then hot all over and I'll have a funny taste in my mouth.  It only has to be in for two hours while I'm in the machine.  NO.

He said that's how it is done. I said why can't you do it without the iv? No dye. The guy said that's just how it's done. And then he said, "you signed a consent to do this".  Did I?  I don't remember ever seeing anything about having an IV during the MRI and if I signed a consent then it was unintentional and probably part of the other papers they had me sign. Also, signing a consent form doesn't mean I'm doing it. He went to get the papers to prove it to me. Like I care.

While he went to get my file, I tried to tell myself to be a grown up and just do it. It's an iv for Pete's Sake, not a big deal. People do this every day. I'm being irrational. I'm also shaking so bad that I cannot even stand up. My heart was pounding. Why isn't the valium working?

He came back.  I did not sign the consent for the dye. He showed me.  I took it and said, this form says dye, it doesn't say there is a needle or an iv involved. Even if I would have signed it, it is misleading. And, signed or not, I'm not doing it.  He said, "what?"  I said, "I'm done. We're done here.  I'm not doing the MRI unless it can be done without the dye."  He was stupified. Sorry I wasted  your time.  He suggested that I reschedule and next time I take valium before my appointment. I said, "I'm on valium right now. I took 6mg an hour ago. This is my calm."  His jaw dropped.  Then, I left.

I got dressed and walked to Starbucks and called my friend to come and get me.  I totally didn't feel the calming effects of the valium.  Nothing!  My anxiety must have overpowered it.

But, I was proud of myself for just leaving and not trying to do something that is just ridiculously hard for me to do.  On the other hand, I was disappointed in myself for not doing something that isn't a big deal and I need to do.

MRI fail.