Friday, November 14, 2014

Bad News that's Good to Know

I tested postive for the BRCA2 gene. Crap! and, Good to know.

Since my mother had breast cancer, and now I have it even though neither my mother or myself had a high risk factor (we live simple, clean lives, not the risk taking sort) I qualified for the genetic testing to see if I have the gene that causes breast cancer.

Honestly, I've been trying not to, but I've been wondering how I got breast cancer. Did I do something to cause it? Did I drink too much Coke? Did I not go to the Dr. often enough? Did I use the deoderant with the harsh chemicals? Did I not eat enough vegetables? Was there pesticide sprayed on my produce? Were there hormones in my hamburger? Am I too stressed out? Did I breastfeed too long? Haven't I been getting enough sleep? Maybe it's the second hand smoke from when I was a child and had a parent who smoked? Was it because I had an underwire bra? Is it Karma or Fate? Is God punishing me? Why did I get cancer? What did I do?  Now, I can stop asking myself that question. The answer is here: I was born this way.

According to some googling that I've been doing, the discovery of the breast cancer gene was pretty recent. One scientist found it in 1974 and they studied it until 1990 before coming forth with the information. 1990 wasn't that long ago. I was married and had an active toddler in that year. I worked as a part time bank teller, and had no worries about breast cancer. None.  Lucky for me, someone else was dedicated to breast cancer research! And those efforts are very much appreciated now, even if I didn't give it a thought back then.

Currently, not everyone can be tested for the gene and have it covered by insurance. The insurance companies only pay for it if they deem it necessary. And then they may only pay a portion, it's hard to say. I told my oncologist that I wanted the test, but only if my insurance covered it. Sure hope I don't get a bill for five grand and a note saying that's my co-pay. We shall see. To qualify to be tested, I had a mother with breast cancer and I have breast cancer, and I have six women with my genes, my sisters and daughters. So, I qualified for the test. Now that I've popped up positive, my sisters and daughters should be approved for testing as well.

There are two genes: BRCA1 and BRCA2.  #1 is apparently worse news than #2. But, really, you don't want either one of them. Turns out, I have the second gene. It's bad, but at least I don't have the first one.

According to the stats that Dr. Google has been throwing my way, Brca1 has a much higher percentage of patients with recurring cancer or other cancers popping up.  Brca2 is an increased risk for breast and ovarian cancer too, but not the "sure thing" that the #1 looks to be. I guess this means that I got the lesser of the two evils. Oh yay. I'll drink to that!

I have two sisters and four daughters. I am really hoping that this gene is recessive and my daughters didn't get it, but if my husband is a carrier, and we don't know that, well, that slims down their chances of escaping the gene.  I truly hope they do not have this gene! All four can be tested for it, but I am not sure when they would want to do that.  Elizabeth just turned 6 years old a couple of months ago. I honestly think she could wait a few decades. My oncologist recommends that my sisters and daughters go see their doctors and then have prophylactic mastectomies and oophorectomies - lop off their breasts and yank out their ovaries for prevention. Hopefully, by the time my daughters are in their mid-30s, there is a better prevention method than going under the knife.

This gene isn't just a breast cancer gene, it's also an ovarian cancer gene.

As for me, my oncologist wants an ultrasound peek at my overies now.  If they are messed up or showing any abnormal shape, lumps, or whatever, then he wants to yank them out now.  If they look good, then he wants to wait until I'm off the Herceptin and yank them out next summer.  Either way, he wants me to have them out. I'm not so sure about that. I have some questions about removing them and why and how much that stacks the cancer stats in my favor. The last thing I want to do is have another surgery, especially if it isn't necessary. I'll decide after I review more information about this situation and weigh my options.

That's all I really know for now.  I have this Brca 2 gene, and my sisters and daughters risk of breast and ovarian cancer just skyrocketed with this new information. To them, I'm sorry. Hope the stats are wrong!

If you find some useful information about BRCA2, breast cancer, or ovarian cancer, please post the link in the comments.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

It's November? Wait? What? Already?

How did that happen?  However November got here so fast, I don't really care, I'm just happy to turn another page on the calendar!  Looking forward to the end of 2014 and we're getting closer to it! This year hasn't been a good one. I just want it done.

These past couple of months haven't been too bad though. I really can't complain much. Maybe the reign of bad luck is already over? Gosh, hope so!

The kids are doing great. Growing and doing well in school and having fun. We went to the zoo and we went to the Science museum in San Diego. We've had lots of trips to the local parks too, including the pumpkin farm. They are fun happy kids!

September was great because the girls and I went on vacation! We drove to Wyoming to see family and it was so very good for my heart and soul. It was good for the girls too! We all came home happier and well... happier! I can't go that long without a visit home again. It had been too long and I had a lot of stress to run away from. When we came home, that stress didn't seem nearly as bad. It was just a great get-away.  

Then, Libby turned six years old. Not sure how that happened so fast neither. Whoa. She's six! Toothless too. She lost a top tooth on the roadtrip and the other top center tooth came out on Halloween.

October was a bit more stressful for me with the breast cancer stuff. As everyone knows it was Breast Cancer Awareness month, and we're fully aware of it around here. More aware than we ever hoped to be, in fact. This whole plaster the world in pink thing got on my nerves fairly quickly. I tried to be a supportive participant in the pink thing, and I made a strong effort to post Breast Cancer awareness messages on Instragram and Facebook, but otherwise, it was depressing. I know why too: because I'm bitter. I'm angry that I have this and that I have to deal with it, and I'm angry that my family has to deal with this too. Daily. I'm mad that I'm in pain and that I'm constantly worried.  I decided that it's ok to be angry about this. I have every right to feel angry. In the meantime, the world is plastered in pink. There are pink Tshirts, mugs, ribbons, socks, people in tutus, healthy people running, events, parties, balloons, gifts, prizes... awareness. Yeah. Awareness. People are partying in the streets for breast cancer. Getting together with their friends and celebrating in matching outlandish pink outfits. Giving out pink prizes and giving shout-outs to long lost aunts and grandmas. This is not what I want to be sucked into. I don't want to party it up and carry a pink balloon or wear a pink ribbon or be happy to be "one of the girls".  So, October was kind of tough, emotionally. I was just mad all month. I tried not to be, but I was harboring a lot of resentment toward this whole Breast Cancer Awareness thing.  Now, don't worry, I've told myself that it's ok for me to feel this way and so I'm feeling it. But I've also told myself to be open to feeling differently next year.  Maybe next year, or another year, I'll feel like celebrating because I'll have a lot to be thankful for. Maybe I'll feel like wearing pink and carrying a balloon or wearing a tutu. Maybe I'll even walk a 5k! But this year, I felt the way I felt and October was  not easy.   Good thing I just had my vacation! Pretty sure that's what got me through October without losing my mind.

November is looking good. The month of my favorite holiday: Thanksgiving!  Yum! I'm really looking forward to the big meal this year because Keith remodeled the kitchen! We now have double ovens! I know he really got those double ovens so that he would have them for making the turkey dinner, but he pretended that it was for me. I know him too well! He got that convection oven and second oven for the holidays and he is the head chef for holiday meals.  I can't wait until he fills the house with all of his fine cooking. I'm drooling just thinking about it!