Gratitude

Gratitude. Actually, I have a lot of it!  I'd like to show more of it, but usually the negative beast rears its ugly head before Gratitude shines through.

I have a lot to be thankful for, even though I'm going through what is probably the worst thing in my life - both past and future included.  I do not want to be so down in the dumps that I forget or forget to show my gratitude for the many wonderful things and people in my world.

I don't think I express it often enough, my gratitude.  I really am grateful for so much!  I always feel it too. In fact, it overpowers the negative feelings that try to take over sometimes. I can't imagine what a depressed sap I would be without my gratitude pulling me back up every time I feel so badly.

Listing all that I'm thankful for seems like a daunting task. Writing a complete list is impossible, but I'll list what is on the top of my mind at the moment as it pertains to my health crisis:

I'm very thankful that Breast Cancer is not a life threatening disease. It's not a piece of cake, but it isn't going to claim every person that it strikes, like me.  Sure hope they find a cure so that it can become a 100% curable disease.

I'm thankful for the medical team that I've been assigned to. They don't really work together per se, but they have been taking good care of me and treating me like a person rather than a burden to their workload. I appreciate that. I'm thankful to live in an area where good medical care is easily available and I'm very thankful my insurance is covering my needs.

I am thankful for my husband. my sister, my mom and grandma, and my cousin. They have been my biggest supporters and cheerleaders and my best therapy. They listen to me, cry with me, cheer with me, and mostly, they love and care for me. I can't say enough wonderful things about my family! They're the best!

I am sorry for this one, but I'm thankful for my breast cancer "sisters". Four women in our family (on my husband's side) have it right now. Actually, three, one was recently declared free of the disease! None of us are blood relatives, three of us married into the family. We also don't live anywhere near each other, and we only see each other at the tri-annual family reunions. But now we have this awful common connection. At least we have each other for support, I will say that it is nice to have someone to walk down this road alongside me. And I'm happy to support them as well. Sure wish we were all lottery winners instead, but this is what we got.

I'm thankful for my daughters and grandsons. Obviously, I'm always thankful for them. But when mom is feeling down, there is no better source of strength and happiness than my children. My older two are especially great right now. They are my research team.

I'm thankful for the local Breast Cancer Resource Center. It's called Michelle's Place. They offer a lot of services to breast cancer patients and survivors (that word again! ugh)... patients and former patients, there, that is better! All of their services are free. They are funded through Susan G. Koman foundation, local fundraising and donations, and probably grants too.

I'm so very thankful for my friends and family who have stepped forward and offered help, brought dinners, gave gifts to the kids, taken the kids for playdates and outings, babysat, brought groceries, sent cards, gave us money and gift cards, brought flowers, cleaned our house, mailed packages, and a bunch of them contributed to a fund to hire a housekeeping service! We know so many wonderful people! Including some long-time online friends! It seems that everyone I know is doing something kind for me and my family, and I know a  lot of people! The ones who are unable to personally visit have sent heartwarming well wishes. I just love everyone! I feel so blessed and  honored to have such generous friends and family!

I'm thankful that I have such a great resource right at my fingertips to find information, connect with others, ask questions, ask more questions, read and read and read some more! That's right, I'm showing a lot of gratitude for the internet! Thank you, Google! Thank you, Bloggers! Thank you, cancer resource centers! Thank you, Cancer product shops! Thank you, forums! Thank you, support groups! Thank you, drug companies! Thanks to everyone for putting it all out there!

I'm not thankful, not one itty bitty bit, for cancer. I'm not. But I am thankful that I have the people and the resources to take care of it. I'm so very grateful for so many things and so many people! This battle would have the best of me if it weren't for all of the people and things listed above. I'm blessed and I know it. Not blessed to have breast cancer, but certainly blessed to have much bigger and better things. I am truly grateful for it all. (except the breast cancer, did I mention that?)

I'll be even more thankful if there is a cure and a prevention for breast cancer and if you never ever get it. I truly will be grateful if none of my sisters, daughters, or nieces suffer from this. That's when my heart will explode with thanks! Let's all hope that day comes soon.