Since my MRI was a non-event, I decided I'd better get a handle on my anxiety. It's bigger than me and I'm not strong enough to do this breast cancer thing by trying to tough it out. Obviously!
I called my primary care doctor and made an appointment to either treat or refer me out to be treated for anxiety.
The nurse weighed me. Ugh. Up until this point, they've been asking me how much I weigh, and I give them a good guess since I don't actually know. I don't weigh myself! Well, I'm at my lifetime high. Not great news but not a surprise.
The nurse said my blood pressure was a little high. That's never happened. Really, never in my life has my blood pressure even been on the higher end of normal. Guess it's about time for that to go wrong too.
The doctor came in and he sat down and asked a few general questions. I told him I'm struggling with anxiety on a fairly constant basis, peaks, some panic attacks mixed in. He asked about my life and I told him that I've been married for 25 years, and I'm a stay at home mom with three kids at home, my two daughters age 7 and 5 who I homeschool part-time and my 3 year old grandson who I watch while my older daughter works. That was enough info for him.
He went on and on about parenting and marriage. The doc gave me all kinds of advice about this and that, without even asking me if there were problems. He had most of it right, probably because all parents have the same general concerns and struggles, but he was reaching on other things. That's ok. I listened to him anyway.
Some of his advice was to cuss. Cuss a lot and say bad words. Let it out. And, read to my kids. Well and good, I will continue to read to my kids and I will not cuss. I still just want to be the same me that I've always been; I kinda like me that way. But, I nodded and said ok.
He wanted to hear more about the panic attacks and so I told him about the breast cancer diagnosis and the biopsy and MRI. I told him the 6mg of valium did nothing for me.
The doctor blew out a big sigh and diagnosed me with depression, anxiety and panic attacks. Oh. Depression? Must be a package deal. Whatever, that's fine. I just want to get through the anxiety. He prescribed Zoloft and Ativan. Great. Hook me up!
He said he will up my dosage in 30 days. I have to remember to call in or make another appointment I guess.
So, now I have these medications and I'm afraid to take them! I don't want to be a mom-zombie. And I still need my wits about me to drive safely. Feeling very anxious to take anxiety meds. Isn't that a kicker?
Forget these quack doctors. Go to Doctor Libby. She can probably do more for your anxiety than anyone else, ever. I googled these pills, and you don't fit the bill for what they are supposed to do. I'd be scared to death to take one of them let alone both. The sound dangerous. One of them even says "stress and anxiety for ordinary day to day living is not reason to need them". I agree with that statement.
ReplyDeleteI have a damn it doll that I can send you, then when you feel frustrated, anxious or something you just bang it on a counter or table say "damn it" and beat up the doll. Works wonders and I have had to use it a number of times here at work. I you need I can come out before your surgery. I just have a conflict with April 18th and Gary and I are leaving for vacation on the 25th.
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